27 January 2014

saying yes to adoption: a guest post from my husband

I asked Nick to share a little bit about what the decision to adopt was like for him, and I am so excited for you to see it in his own words. He has an amazing heart, and I'm grateful he's willing to share it with you all.
My “yes” came after a conversation over dinner at our friends house.  They had adopted twice and we sought them out after getting to know them at church. I remember conviction in my heart after our friend said “many come to us and say they think about it, or thought about, but few actually do it.”

There were for me and are for many, reasons not to adopt.  

“Will I love them as much as my biological children?” 
“How can we afford it?”  
“From where do we adopt?” 
“How will I explain their biological history?”  
“Will my family embrace it?”

Perhaps the strongest testimony I can give if you are wrestling with those questions is that I can’t imagine life if I had said “no” to my Eddie or Frances.  My love is not just the same for them as my biological children, but my heart is singularly and perfectly captured by each of them.  I truly forget they are adopted.  If children are the supreme gift then adopted children are rewrapped every day.  I am always re-surprised by the fact that my heart forgets that we did anything special by adopting.  When people say Eddie and Frances are lucky, it shocks my heart because I’m the one that feels like an absolute lotto winner.  

Of course going in I thought a lot about the moral value of adoption, the good it does for our society, the way it puts “pro life” into action.  Abortion is proof that women’s needs are not met.  Adoption is proof that children are welcome in our world.  Before Eddie and Frances uniquely and wonderfully wove themselves into our lives, I used to think about the moral impact of what we were doing.  But now as their forever daddy, it’s not my focus.  Still it is a compelling reason and I mention it because I hope it gets more people off the “fence” to just do it!

Of course, we are still in the springtime of all of this.  There is innocence in our family life with five under seven.  There are tough conversations ahead.  Although in our home it feels so normal, transracial adoption is not the norm out there.  It won’t be easy at times for both of them to explain, to reconcile.  I’ll turn it over to Jesus, and be daddy for them in these moments all the more.  Although changing seasons await, I feel confident saying that If you’re thinking about it, your “yes” will not disappoint.  Instead it will yield more than you could imagine.  Let us take inspiration from Mary’s “yes” to Him.  And His “yes” to you, to me, Carina, Lute, Eddie, George, Frances, and Ivah.


  1. Beautiful words! Thanks for sharing!!

  2. This is really sweet. Thank you for sharing! It's scary to stop thinking and praying about it and "just do" but that is a really good reminder.

  3. i love this so much. and i love that you guys share from your heart the stories of your beautiful children.
    the love you both have for them is overflowing and evident.

  4. Such an awesome post. I so love hearing from the man behind the blog's perspective- and especially about adoption- a topic that I feel like there is so little male insight on. I've always wanted to adopt and my husband is more than open to it, but I know that he doesn't have quite the enthusiasm for it as I do. I don't want to push him and I also want him to be real and not hindered by my passion to adopt. It will be interesting to see what happens!

  5. so so wonderful!! thanks for sharing a daddy's perspective! can't wait to go through the joy, pain, and beauty of adoption too!