19 January 2012

adoption: more of our story

It's been forever since I've written some of our story, and I wanted to jump back in where I left off last May. I want to remember the details, especially before we get wrapped up in the details of the next (no word yet, by the way. still praying for our girl!).

When we got the call that we'd been chosen for a baby, we were elated. Like, over the moon, butterflies, giddy excited. We called our families and friends and announced that we'd be bringing home a baby boy in a month's time. I went through baby clothes, we set up the crib, looked into places to stay and planned and prepped for his arrival.

One sunny June morning we took Lute to the zoo to see the cows. He is all about exotic animals, you know. We knew our caseworker would be calling soon so that we could "meet" or birthmother over the phone. As we walked through the trees, my phone rang. We nervously pulled the stroller over to a bench in a quiet area and began a conversation that would change the lives of all involved. We listened as she asked us questions about why we'd like to adopt and why we'd chosen a different ethnicity than our own. We heard her story and told her ours. I told her (rather nervously) that I was actually pregnant and she was more than happy that her baby boy would have another sibling. When the conversation ended, we felt peace and more excitement, and a greater love in our hearts for a baby to be and the woman who carried him. God was pressing into our hearts a desire to pray for her and to let her know that she would always be with us.

We were told not to book our plane tickets until we got the call that she was in labor, as there was no real point in being there any earlier. She'd invited me to be in the delivery room if I'd arrived in time... but she warned me she'd probably do a lot of swearing. (ha.) 
The call came midday on the due date and we booked our tickets for that night. Our bags were ready and we were off. We flew cross country, rented a car and drove the two hours to the town where she was. I was convinced we'd missed the birth because of the long flight, but we got a call that her contractions had stopped and she was resting. 
Have you ever heard of that happening? I haven't, and I am pretty convinced God was waiting for us.

We fell into a tired heap in our hotel room, my cell phone inches from my ear so I wouldn't miss the call. It came at 9:25am and we were out the door and in the car to drive the short two mile journey to the hospital. When we got to the waiting room of the tiniest hospital I'd ever been in, I called Sandy, our caseworker, to let her know we'd arrived, but only got her voicemail.

Seven minutes later we heard the chimes over the announcer that let the hospital know a baby had just been born.

Our baby.

Just moments later Sandy came out to tell us all about the birth. She'd done it naturally, our baby had arrived, and he was 9 pounds, 10 ounces. (Go ahead and process that. Natural childbirth+huge baby=my hero.) She told us we could come back to the room and meet him, and coached us that we should also remember to focus on our birthmother (we'll call her Molly). I am going to be honest: it was awkward. I didn't know if I should look at her or the baby first. Ask to hold him, engage her in conversation, hug her... what. Her sister was there and they immediately put him in our arms. I held him, introduced my very talkative two year old, and Nick (as he always is) was easy and natural in conversation with the sweet girl who had just given us one of the greatest gifts we've ever known.

Over the next two days, we sat with Molly and watched reality tv (kindred spirit) and talked about our lives back home, what she liked to do in her free time, and all the other getting to know you stuff. Nick and I would take turns slipping out of the room to go hold Eddie and feed him his bottles and snuggle him until the other one switched out. It was all surreal, all amazing, and even now I sit in wonder of it. All the while, Lute was at our side, loving his new baby brother.
Once Molly was released, we were free to take our baby back to the hotel. We spent another couple of days together as a family before Nick and Lute flew back home and I stayed back with Eddie until we were cleared to leave by our state and the state he where he was born. Once they agreed it was a valid adoption, I bought my ticket home to begin our life as a family of four. 

It was a bittersweet babymoon for Eddie and me. I loved having endless hours to snuggle my new little love and bond as mother and son. But I also longed for home, to wrap my arms around Lute, and to marvel at this baby with my husband. I was able to have a few meals with Sandy and Molly before I left, and I still hope that I was able to convey my gratitude during our short time together. The sacrifice she made in giving her boy to me - to us - has left an indelible mark on my heart forever.

I can't imagine one day without Eddie in it. He is my little man, my pumpkin, my active, curious, often crazy, little snuggler. 
I love that kid.


  1. Thank you for sharing your story. This truly is sweet, I hope to adopt one day with my husband if God wills it.

  2. amen. love this, carina! keep sharing your stories!

    you bless me. and i adore you.

  3. Awesomeness, being that we're going through the foster care/adoption process I loved every word of this!:)

  4. I'm so glad I found your blog last week! love ready your post! great story!

  5. awh what a lovely story :) congrats to you and your beautiful, growing family!

    Lovely Little Rants

  6. Today I found your blog and decided to go through your adoption section. I am 20 years old and was adopted as a newborn. I want to thank you for sharing the emotions you've had in adopting. I have always known that I was adopted but my parents never went over the details of what they were feeling. Seeing what you have written has helped me understand the relationship i have with my family. Being adopted has its challenges but I am forever grateful for the life I was given. Thank you again for sharing you story.